Where has the I Disappeared?

I never understood why people make marriage sound like a mammoth curse when they refer to it. After all it is just a phase of life from when you share most of you with some one else.

Now that it has been a year that i have been married, i get the gist of it- Marriage takes the I out of your life completely. Being a Man , one gets accustomed to living in a particular way and that has to change once married - which i guess is the most tramautic experience for a man who has lived life on his terms( or thinks he has ) so far with little or no consideration for people around him.

Feminists tend to call him a chauvanist - Women in general know this shade pretty well in their men - some let it slide , some take it to task and some tame it down.

What a woman does to her man is what he allows her to do with him and their life. But  Man as the more egoistic being, does not accept the fact and tries to blame the woman for what he has become from what he was. He fails to see the situations where his inputs and views would have made a difference and would have set his life on a path starkly different. And fails to accept the fact that it is his indecisiveness that led him this chaotic route.


Men are indifferent to most of the things happening around them . This is a common trait found in men of all ages and generations.The indifference sometimes affects their decisions about important things in life and those decisions taken or rather arrived at bring about the chaos and unhappiness associated with it.

What is moral and what is not

What we do in general and in common is assuming that all people have and share the same values and beliefs on a variety of common things and topics. But we fail to understand that each person's values and beliefs change and continue to change as he/she evolves over a period of experiences and incidents they get invariably involved in and hence a plethora of values and beliefs come into existence .

Come the question of morality - what you think of immoral might be a perfectly moral thing to a different person given his/her set of beliefs. What we think of being immoral is actually a term we use to cordon us off from falling a ethical cliff -a high one or a low one , we have set for self assurance and in general social acceptance.

But again, there exist a number of intricate social circles we tend to become a common part of due to what we do, how we do and why we do things the way we do, which leads to have a separate identity each with a typically different set of priorities of values in each circle. For example, the choice of words we tend to use with college friends to express is much more liberal than the set of words we might use to describe the same thing with a colleague or family member. While this is socially accepted and agreeable, we fail to understand that the "I" we think of is often a careful concoction of various personalities trying to cohabitate. As time goes by, we tend to allow one personality to take over the rest given the situation, scenario and the type of people we intend to associate with at that moment.